Why he clams up, and why that’s actually a good thing
When you hear about men being from Mars and women being from Venus, what you’re often hearing is that women like to talk and communicate while men prefer not to,Save The Relationship Why Do Most Men Dislike Talking About Emotional Issues . It’s one of the most fundamental differences between the sexes — and it’s the one that drives the most people crazy,ray ban españa.
“All she wants to do is talk about our ‘feelings’!” men will complain to their friends. Meanwhile, women complain to their friends, “He won’t talk to me about his feelings!” Is there no middle ground here,Lentes ray ban?
To women, it seems obvious that you’d want to discuss emotional issues,gafas carrera mujer. How else will you know what the other person is thinking,oakley gafas? Besides,bolsos chanel, talking about things helps you understand them and feel better about them. So why would anyone want to clam up?
That line of reasoning makes sense — for women. But men’s minds work differently. They’re just not hardwired the same way as women,bolsos chanel online.
Many studies have shown that men react to strong emotion more physically than women do. Their blood pressure goes up, their hearts race, and it takes much longer for their bodies to return to normal once the crisis has passed than it does for women. Because of this,gafas sol carrera, men’s brains subconsciously urge them to stay away from strong emotion — because it’s physically dangerous.
One study among young boys and girls showed that the boys were faster to turn off a tape recording of a baby crying than the girls were. Why? Not because the boys were insensitive,Camisas Ralph Lauren, but because they were more bothered by it,oakley españa. The boys were actually MORE sensitive to strong feelings, not less. And that’s why they avoid it,chanel España.
It’s been shown that old men are far more likely to die soon after losing a spouse — to “die of grief,gafas carrera españa,” as they say — than old women are after losing theirs,gafas sol ray ban. Physically speaking, emotional problems hit men harder.
Women often want to ask a man,gafas carrera baratas, “What are you thinking,Polo Ralph Lauren?” when he’s quiet,gafas ray ban españa. They assume that because they get quiet when they’re troubled,oakley 2013, it’s the same way with men. But it isn’t, at least not necessarily,ray ban baratas. Men also get quiet when they’re pondering a problem,gafas carrera, devising a solution to something. It doesn’t mean anything is “wrong,Polo Ralph Lauren 2013.” It just means they’re working something out,Related articles:
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http://gafascarreraoutlet.webs.com/,Save The Relationship Why Do Most Men Dislike Talking About Emotional Issues ,oakley baratas, often something non-earth-shattering and non-traumatic,bolsos chanel. Women talk their way through problems; men think their way through.
Men do talk,gafas ray ban hombre, of course. Get them with their buddies and they talk all the time — about sports,gafas carrera, cars,gafas sol ray ban, movies, video games, TV shows,Lentes ray ban, you name it,gafas carrera aviator. Just not their feelings,gafas ray ban modelos. They get their pent-up feelings and aggressions out through games and camaraderie,gafas carrera 2013, not through cathartic chat sessions.
But even strong, stoic men understand (or should understand) that communication is vital in any relationship,Gafas ray ban. They should be willing to talk about things that need to be talked about. The key for you in getting him to open up is to let go at his own pace.
Women’s minds focus on feelings, while men’s focus on problem-solving. Therefore, if there’s an emotional issue that needs discussion, rather than saying, “How do you feel?” or telling him how you feel, you might do better to phrase it as a solution: “Let’s figure out a way to deal with this” or “What if we did such-and-such about this situation,chanel baratas?”
A good time to bring up emotional issues is when he’s relaxed and comfortable and not otherwise occupied. That last point is important,oakley españa. He’s relaxed and comfortable when he’s watching a football game on TV, but that’s certainly not the time to interrupt him with this kind of talk,Related articles:
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http://gafascarreraoutlet.webs.com/. Wait until he’s puttering around in the garage, doing nothing in particular,Polo Ralph Lauren, or maybe when you’re out together for a casual walk.
As with so many issues in dealing with men, it’s important not to pressure him,Ralph Lauren España. If he feels like you’re manipulating him into talking about his feelings,Ralph Lauren España, he’ll clam up,gafas sol carrera. So don’t set up “meetings.” Don’t say,Gafas ray ban, “We need to talk.” (Ask any man: Those are the four most dreaded words in the English language,oakley gafas.) Instead,gafas carrera españa, arrange a situation you both enjoy where talking will be feasible — going out to dinner, taking a Sunday drive, etc. Then, if the conversation comes around to the issues you want to discuss, it will be a natural progression, not an agenda.
Above all,chanel España, you should accept that men are different from women — and that’s a good thing. Just because you’re inclined to do something one way doesn’t mean that’s the “right” way. Let men be themselves,ray ban españa. When they feel relaxed and safe, you may be surprised at the things they’ll tell you.